Despite what many bridal catalogues, wedding websites, friends, family members, celebrities, etc., might have you believe, you don't have to spend a lot of money to have a nice wedding. I personally planned my husband's and my vow renewal ceremony (since we eloped, this ceremony was our "wedding," with almost all the trimmings) for under $2,000. It can be done.
The average cost of a wedding today is $22,000. Many couples actually take out loans to pay for their weddings. I'm of the personal opinion that, unless you just have a lot of extra money lying around, you shouldn't have to pay nearly this much for your wedding. Most couples can't realistically afford it, either (hence the loans). Why put yourself in debt for something that's going to last only a few hours, when you could save that money for your marriage, which will probably last longer, unless you happen to be Drew Barrymore.
For those of you looking to plan a wedding on a shoestring budget, don't worry...there are quite a few resources for you, including books and websites. I've also decided to post my personal tips here for you to peruse and consider.
Location
The price of your ceremony and reception location(s) can make or break you, budgetwise. Don't expect to get a great deal simply by renting out the church you've been attending since childhood, either, although there are always exceptions. If you can get a good price from your church, great! If not, here are some other options:
-museums and art galleries, especially smaller venues
-local colleges (it doesn't have to be your alma mater, either; a lot of colleges rent out their facilities for such functions)
-historical houses
-state parks
-botanical gardens
-zoos (they usually only rent out for receptions)
-local hotels
-theatres/concert halls (not movie theatres; the stage kind *wink*)
This is just a very small list. Be creative; think outside the box! Drive around your area with the purpose of looking for possible locations. You'll be surprised at what you see as possibilities! And never underestimate the power of having a "friend of a friend of a cousin" who has a huge, beautiful mansion. The main thing is to ask!
Also, a lot of locations will give you a deal of sorts if you agree to have both your ceremony and reception at their site. Some will even provide catering for the reception for a discount if you go with this option. You must ask about all of these things; ask them for deals, for discounts. The worst they can say is "no."
Dress
There are tons of discount bridal shops on the Internet. Also, there's probably a David's Bridal near you; be sure to check them out, as they often have lovely dresses for low prices.
A lot of designers have a separate "informal" or "destination wedding" collection, and these dresses are almost always under $1,000, and usually much cheaper than that, even directly from a bridal shop. Also, look for bridesmaids dresses in styles you like, as they are much cheaper than wedding gowns.
If you buy from a bridal shop, be wary of alteration costs. Ask up front about these costs.
If you buy from the Internet, be sure to do so at least a couple of months before your wedding, even if they promise "lightning-fast" delivery, just to be on the safe side and to allow time for alterations.
eBay always has a huge selection of bridal gowns, but be wary: some of these so-called "designer" dresses are not actually by the promised designer. Also, eBay has many bidders who are "professional" bidders of sorts and who will sneak in during the last few minutes (even seconds) of an auction and bid a dress right out from under you, leaving you with no time to outbid them. I've seen my share of brides-to-be heartbroken after losing their dream dress in an auction. So just be aware of that.
Also, if you know someone who's a fabulous seamstress, why not have your dress made? You can get a pattern from McCalls or a similar design catalog, or--if you're especially creative--come up with a design yourself. Or you can go with an old standby, and try on dresses in a bridal shop and get someone to (inconspicuously) take pictures of you in the dresses, then take the pictures to a seamstress.
Invitations
Invitations are often brides' budget-breakers, because many people don't expect them to be as expensive as they are. You can easily avoid these costs by either ordering your invitations off of eBay or making them yourself. You can find great invitation stationery at stationery stores (and at Target!) for budget prices, and you can either use your own printer or go to Kinko's. There are also several invitation kits for computers that will help you with design and layout.
I personally feel that handmade invitations are much more meaningful, and often much more attractive, than "professional" invitations. You have the freedom to do whatever you want, and there's just something very special about that personal do-it-yourself touch.
Favors
Make your own! Again, eBay has wonderful sources for wedding favors, and you can also get supplies from Michael's, Target, or any craft store. Most wedding sites have tons of favor ideas.
The cake
If you're having a small wedding, you might consider making the cake yourself, or getting a friend or family member with culinary talent to make one.
Publix also makes beautiful wedding cakes for great prices. For example, 3-tiered cake is a flat rate of $159. Compare that to most bakeries, where you'll pay around $7-$10 per slice (on average).
Decorations
eBay, Michael's, Target... As far as flowers go, remember that you will save tons of money by only having flowers that are in season at the time of your wedding.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Bridal Gowns: Making A Choice
Shopping for your wedding gown is a very exciting and fun thing to do, but it can also become very confusing. Choosing just one gown out of the thousands of options available can make even the most organized bride's head spin.
The first time you walk into a bridal shop, chances are you'll be overwhelmed by all the choices you've got. The best thing you can do to prepare yourself is to spend some time looking through the national bridal magazines to see which styles attract you. Granted, the gowns look different on professional models, but the pictures will give you a good idea of what's in style and what options are available.
While you're paging through the magazines, pay attention to details: necklines, sleeves, appliques on the train. Take the dress apart in your mind and consider each piece separately.
Don't rip out the pages. Instead, mark them and take the whole book with you when you go shopping. This is important because bridal shops often call the manufacturers for more information about gowns, and to do this they need to know page numbers.
When you do finally venture out, take the time to plan ahead. Most bridal salons prefer to show gowns by appointment, so call ahead. Appointments will last between one and two hours, so be sure you space them out.
Whatever you do, don't try to squeeze it in on your lunch hour. Shopping for your bridal gown isn't like looking for a casual outfit, where you can go into the store and look through the racks. It's very much a one-on-one process. You need to sit down with your consultant and discuss what you're looking for before you try on a single gown. An appointment assures that you will get this kind of relaxed atmosphere, and it guarantees that the consultant will be able to take the time to do everything possible to get you the gown you want. You'll have much more success if you aren't pressed for time.
Your first couple of outings should be purely for exploration. You'll try on a lot of gowns before you decide on one, but the more you try, the better an idea you'll get of exactly what you want. Believe it or not, though, it is possible to try on too many gowns. Once you've settled on a neckline and general style, stick with it. Try not to fall into the trap of trying on every dress you see; you'll only confuse yourself. If that straight skirt didn't look good yesterday, it's not going to look any better today.
Have an idea of what you'd like, but keep an open mind. It may not look like much on the hanger, but it could be the dress of your dreams. When you try on a gown, focus on the way it looks and feels. Is it comfortable? Does it emphasize your good points and hide your flaws?
Shopping alone can often be difficult. Take with you one or two people whose opinions you truly value (most brides count on Mom and their maid- or matron-of-honor). If possible, take the same people each time so you all are equally well informed as to what you've seen and liked. It's important that you limit yourself to only one or two people, though, or you'll end up confused by too many conflicting opinions. Bring the others once you've made your decision.
Most of all, remember that this is YOUR wedding gown. Make certain you're not trying to please or impress anybody else with your choice. Nobody will be impressed by a gown that looks terrible on you, or one that is clearly uncomfortable. In the end, the only opinion that counts is your own. If you feel beautiful in the wedding gown of your choice, you will be.
If the gowns you've seen have all started to blur in your mind, it's time to stop looking. Go back and re-try your favorites, then narrow it down from there. If you're having trouble deciding, here's a handy trick: Over a period of a week or two, don't look at any gowns. As you concentrate on other aspects of the wedding, picture yourself walking down the aisle and note which dress you're wearing. Chances are that's the one you'll buy.
A word of caution, though. Bridal gowns usually take anywhere from three to six months just to come in, and you'll need about a month on top of that for alterations. Obviously there are exceptions to this rule, but leave yourself as much time as possible before the wedding to be sure you can get the dress you want.
How do you choose a bridal shop? Keep in mind that you'll be working with these people for the better part of a year, if not longer. You need to trust them and be able to get answers to your questions. Some things you should find out about include whether you'll be able to see the gown without an appointment; how it will be stored; if anyone will be able to see the gown when you are not present; and if you will be able to take the gown out of the store and then return it for safekeeping until the wedding.
Check with the Better Business Bureau for unresolved complaints. As far as payment goes, most shops require a fifty percent deposit, with the balance due either at your first fitting or when you pick up the dress. Be wary of any shop that asks for more than fifty percent before the dress comes in.
Talk to your consultant about what the price of the gown includes. Many shops include all or part of your alterations, and some include the veil as well. This is very important to know when you shop for the best price. The dress with the lowest initial price can end up being the most expensive when all the hidden costs are added.
Alterations can be a big added expense, and you can count on needing them. You're taking a lot of time and spending a lot of money to get the perfect bridal gown, so once you find it, don't skimp on the alterations. The way the gown is altered will have a big influence on how good it looks on you. The most beautiful dress in the world will look awful if it doesn't fit properly, so be sure that your gown is altered by an experienced bridal seam stress.
Doing alterations on bridal attire is very different than altering everyday clothing, because there is much more detail and the proper fit is essential. For example, if a blouse is a little loose through the body, you probably won't be too concerned -- you may even prefer it that way. If your bridal gown is loose, however, it'll show, and it'll be pretty uncomfortable.
If alterations are not included in the price of your gown, find out the charge for each procedure. A hem may cost $30, but if your skirt is lined it can be considered two hems and you'll pay twice as much as you expected. Bustling the train is another major expense. Also find out if pressing is included. With something as important as your wedding gown, you probably don't have either the facilities or the skill to press it properly yourself.
Be aware that a lot of manufacturers copy each other, so know what you're getting. You may find a copy of the gown you want at a much lower price, but be aware that it may not be of the same quality. Even though you only wear the dress once, you don't want it to fall apart by the end of the day. Talk with your consultant about different manufacturers to be sure you're get ting the quality you expect.
Whether or not it's your first marriage, your wedding day is something you've dreamed about. Selecting only one gown out of the thousands of choices can be a difficult and confusing process. Instead of letting your decision be a source of worry, take your time and enjoy it. This is one of the most important days of your life, so it should be exactly what you've wanted.
The first time you walk into a bridal shop, chances are you'll be overwhelmed by all the choices you've got. The best thing you can do to prepare yourself is to spend some time looking through the national bridal magazines to see which styles attract you. Granted, the gowns look different on professional models, but the pictures will give you a good idea of what's in style and what options are available.
While you're paging through the magazines, pay attention to details: necklines, sleeves, appliques on the train. Take the dress apart in your mind and consider each piece separately.
Don't rip out the pages. Instead, mark them and take the whole book with you when you go shopping. This is important because bridal shops often call the manufacturers for more information about gowns, and to do this they need to know page numbers.
When you do finally venture out, take the time to plan ahead. Most bridal salons prefer to show gowns by appointment, so call ahead. Appointments will last between one and two hours, so be sure you space them out.
Whatever you do, don't try to squeeze it in on your lunch hour. Shopping for your bridal gown isn't like looking for a casual outfit, where you can go into the store and look through the racks. It's very much a one-on-one process. You need to sit down with your consultant and discuss what you're looking for before you try on a single gown. An appointment assures that you will get this kind of relaxed atmosphere, and it guarantees that the consultant will be able to take the time to do everything possible to get you the gown you want. You'll have much more success if you aren't pressed for time.
Your first couple of outings should be purely for exploration. You'll try on a lot of gowns before you decide on one, but the more you try, the better an idea you'll get of exactly what you want. Believe it or not, though, it is possible to try on too many gowns. Once you've settled on a neckline and general style, stick with it. Try not to fall into the trap of trying on every dress you see; you'll only confuse yourself. If that straight skirt didn't look good yesterday, it's not going to look any better today.
Have an idea of what you'd like, but keep an open mind. It may not look like much on the hanger, but it could be the dress of your dreams. When you try on a gown, focus on the way it looks and feels. Is it comfortable? Does it emphasize your good points and hide your flaws?
Shopping alone can often be difficult. Take with you one or two people whose opinions you truly value (most brides count on Mom and their maid- or matron-of-honor). If possible, take the same people each time so you all are equally well informed as to what you've seen and liked. It's important that you limit yourself to only one or two people, though, or you'll end up confused by too many conflicting opinions. Bring the others once you've made your decision.
Most of all, remember that this is YOUR wedding gown. Make certain you're not trying to please or impress anybody else with your choice. Nobody will be impressed by a gown that looks terrible on you, or one that is clearly uncomfortable. In the end, the only opinion that counts is your own. If you feel beautiful in the wedding gown of your choice, you will be.
If the gowns you've seen have all started to blur in your mind, it's time to stop looking. Go back and re-try your favorites, then narrow it down from there. If you're having trouble deciding, here's a handy trick: Over a period of a week or two, don't look at any gowns. As you concentrate on other aspects of the wedding, picture yourself walking down the aisle and note which dress you're wearing. Chances are that's the one you'll buy.
A word of caution, though. Bridal gowns usually take anywhere from three to six months just to come in, and you'll need about a month on top of that for alterations. Obviously there are exceptions to this rule, but leave yourself as much time as possible before the wedding to be sure you can get the dress you want.
How do you choose a bridal shop? Keep in mind that you'll be working with these people for the better part of a year, if not longer. You need to trust them and be able to get answers to your questions. Some things you should find out about include whether you'll be able to see the gown without an appointment; how it will be stored; if anyone will be able to see the gown when you are not present; and if you will be able to take the gown out of the store and then return it for safekeeping until the wedding.
Check with the Better Business Bureau for unresolved complaints. As far as payment goes, most shops require a fifty percent deposit, with the balance due either at your first fitting or when you pick up the dress. Be wary of any shop that asks for more than fifty percent before the dress comes in.
Talk to your consultant about what the price of the gown includes. Many shops include all or part of your alterations, and some include the veil as well. This is very important to know when you shop for the best price. The dress with the lowest initial price can end up being the most expensive when all the hidden costs are added.
Alterations can be a big added expense, and you can count on needing them. You're taking a lot of time and spending a lot of money to get the perfect bridal gown, so once you find it, don't skimp on the alterations. The way the gown is altered will have a big influence on how good it looks on you. The most beautiful dress in the world will look awful if it doesn't fit properly, so be sure that your gown is altered by an experienced bridal seam stress.
Doing alterations on bridal attire is very different than altering everyday clothing, because there is much more detail and the proper fit is essential. For example, if a blouse is a little loose through the body, you probably won't be too concerned -- you may even prefer it that way. If your bridal gown is loose, however, it'll show, and it'll be pretty uncomfortable.
If alterations are not included in the price of your gown, find out the charge for each procedure. A hem may cost $30, but if your skirt is lined it can be considered two hems and you'll pay twice as much as you expected. Bustling the train is another major expense. Also find out if pressing is included. With something as important as your wedding gown, you probably don't have either the facilities or the skill to press it properly yourself.
Be aware that a lot of manufacturers copy each other, so know what you're getting. You may find a copy of the gown you want at a much lower price, but be aware that it may not be of the same quality. Even though you only wear the dress once, you don't want it to fall apart by the end of the day. Talk with your consultant about different manufacturers to be sure you're get ting the quality you expect.
Whether or not it's your first marriage, your wedding day is something you've dreamed about. Selecting only one gown out of the thousands of choices can be a difficult and confusing process. Instead of letting your decision be a source of worry, take your time and enjoy it. This is one of the most important days of your life, so it should be exactly what you've wanted.
Friday, December 12, 2008
How Do I Choose The Wedding Party
Choosing the wedding party can be one of the most pleasurable or daunting experiences you will encounter while planning your wedding.
While there are no set rules on how many attendants are required, there are some standard guidelines to assist you.
On average a wedding party will consist of 4 to 6 bridesmaids and groomsmen. This number may vary depending on the wishes of the marrying couple. Generally, the more formal a wedding the larger the wedding party typically is. And, as a "rule of thumb", the number of groomsmen in a wedding party should be equal to the number of wedding guests divided by 50 - with a corresponding number of bridesmaids. For example, if you were expecting 400 guests at your wedding, protocol would dictate 8 bridesmaids and 8 groomsmen. Interestingly enough while it normal on occasion to have more groomsmen than bridesmaids in the wedding party - there should never more bridesmaids than groomsmen.
Also please remember when planning your wedding party that "cost matters." The larger the wedding party the more costly your wedding will be. Each additional bridesmaid comes replete with requisite bouquet, gift, and accommodations. So if cost is an issue, the more does not necessarily mean the merrier.
Be thoughtful when narrowing your selection list. This can be quite the task if you have many friends and loved ones. Remember, you can't include everyone. If there are some women that you want to be involved but you can't have them as bridesmaids, ask them to be Honorary Bridesmaids. (Also known as Honor Attendants). They will attend the rehearsal dinner, bridesmaids' luncheon, and sit with the family in the front of the church on the special day.
Finally, and most importantly, be attentive to the needs of your attendants. Invitations to be in the wedding party should be offered at least six months in advance. This will allow adequate time for those involved to make travel arrangements, purchase attire, and save money. Don't be offended if someone you ask opts out of the wedding. Being a bridesmaid or groomsmen requires a great financial/time commitment and for many of us those two commodities are in short supply. Therefore do not assume that a "no" is indicative of a lack of interest or a personal slight. Many people simply cannot afford to be involved.
While there are no set rules on how many attendants are required, there are some standard guidelines to assist you.
On average a wedding party will consist of 4 to 6 bridesmaids and groomsmen. This number may vary depending on the wishes of the marrying couple. Generally, the more formal a wedding the larger the wedding party typically is. And, as a "rule of thumb", the number of groomsmen in a wedding party should be equal to the number of wedding guests divided by 50 - with a corresponding number of bridesmaids. For example, if you were expecting 400 guests at your wedding, protocol would dictate 8 bridesmaids and 8 groomsmen. Interestingly enough while it normal on occasion to have more groomsmen than bridesmaids in the wedding party - there should never more bridesmaids than groomsmen.
Also please remember when planning your wedding party that "cost matters." The larger the wedding party the more costly your wedding will be. Each additional bridesmaid comes replete with requisite bouquet, gift, and accommodations. So if cost is an issue, the more does not necessarily mean the merrier.
Be thoughtful when narrowing your selection list. This can be quite the task if you have many friends and loved ones. Remember, you can't include everyone. If there are some women that you want to be involved but you can't have them as bridesmaids, ask them to be Honorary Bridesmaids. (Also known as Honor Attendants). They will attend the rehearsal dinner, bridesmaids' luncheon, and sit with the family in the front of the church on the special day.
Finally, and most importantly, be attentive to the needs of your attendants. Invitations to be in the wedding party should be offered at least six months in advance. This will allow adequate time for those involved to make travel arrangements, purchase attire, and save money. Don't be offended if someone you ask opts out of the wedding. Being a bridesmaid or groomsmen requires a great financial/time commitment and for many of us those two commodities are in short supply. Therefore do not assume that a "no" is indicative of a lack of interest or a personal slight. Many people simply cannot afford to be involved.
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