This is not to say you won’t be having a great time. You will be having fun. And more importantly, you will get credit for planning the "greatest of all celebrations" after the party is done. Heck, New Orleans’s may be calling you to plan the next Mardi Gras.
Pre-party
The Date – Find a date and time the groom and all his friends can attend. This is easier said than done. Start early with a date and get it set in stone as soon as possible. Call to remind your participants frequently. Dropping little email or voice-mail messages from time to time has also proven useful.
The Event - This is it. What the heck are you going do? The one thing you are not going to do is settle for less than fantastic. Nothing is worse than the poorly thrown together party, that consists of the Best Man yelling out to the other office cubicles, "Hey everybody come down to Murry’s bar for Joe’s bachelor party! We’re going to get ripped!"
Even if the groom wants only wants hang out at his favorite bar, then find a way to make it better. Make it value added. One example might be to find a good place that will run a prepaid tab for your friends. (Prepay if possible, you don’t want your friends setting new drinking records and you getting stuck with the difference on the bill.) Have your pub set up a certain area of just for your party. And then make the groom wear a crown and robe. You can think of many different ways you can make this a memorable night.
The Money – you are planning a major event. Major events will probably cost major money. Fortunately, you have the rest of the groomsmen to help you. It is the responsibility of everyone attending the party (except the groom) to chip in to pay for the party.
Collecting money can be difficult! There are many people in the world that makes a pretty good living collecting money from people. We are not suggesting that you call your comrade’s everyday or kidnap a pet to collect ransom money. The best approach to collecting their portion of the money is to set a collection date in advance and what the amount will be. Don’t give your friends sticker shock. Go see them around the end or first of the month (i.e. payday).
The Guests – Ask the groom who he wants to attend the event. After all, this is a party to honor the groom. Do not, then, invite people the groom does not like or who he does not like being around. The question arises from time to time about inviting women to the bachelor party. We recommend considering the question of female guests carefully. One situation that can arise is bridal jealousy. In the bride’s eyes, the groom is having a coed party that she was not invited to attend. Not a good way to start off a marriage.
We are not saying you cannot invite women. The final say-so comes from the groom anyway. We do suggest that a bachelor party have a completely different atmosphere when it’s "just the boys." Guys will have a greater comfort level, be able to relax and possibly have more fun. Remember, this is the bachelor party. Sometimes men gather at these events to be crude and nasty, and laugh about it later. If you need more reasons, read Robert Bly’s Iron John.
Transportation
First off, you should think limousine. They are classy, large enough to hold your party, and have a sober driver. They are a little pricey, but remember you are splitting the cost with your friends. Renting a van is another option. This option protects your cars and allows you all to ride together.
Accessories
The Best Man must have a few items with him for the party.
- Mints
- Cab numbers
- Cell Phone
- Friend’s home phone numbers
- Plenty of tipping cash (bartender, limousine driver, unexpected emergencies or gratuities.)
Warnings
We have a few warnings that go along with throwing a bachelor party.
Do not drive drunk. Not even a little buzzed. And do not let others in your party drive after drinking. Drinking and driving is illegal, dangerous, and stupid. You risk the lives of your friends, yourself, and even worse, innocent people on the road. E’nuff preaching.
Strippers - All great bachelor party must have strippers, right? Every great bachelor party movie has had naked women or some form or another. Let us take this opportunity to remind you that, as the Best Man, your responsibility is to make sure the groom gets married and support him during the wedding process. Strippers may just throw a kink in this process. We are not trying to be prudes here. A growing number of bachelor parties have no involvement of this type out of respect for the bride. Many people think bachelor party is for the "last score before marriage". It isn’t. It is a time for male bonding and support before entering marriage. Be sure to ask the groom and, even more importantly the bride, if you are going to involve naked women in the bachelor party. Everyone will be glad you asked rather than assumed.
Post-party
This is the moment you sit back think of your job well done, or call your wife for bail money…just kidding. Either way the party is probably over. If you have done your planning well then this should be the easiest part of the program. Stop and take a little assessment of your group. First, do you have the groom with you and is he safe? Second, has anyone wandered off with someone or otherwise left the event? Are they accounted for? Finally the rides home. It is still your responsibility to get everyone safely home. Hopefully, you have arranged a limousine, cab, or other form of sober, rented vehicle to take your guests home.
A bonus tip:
NOW HEAR THIS!!! Have flowers ready for the guys to take home to their significant others. Why? The truth is women (we are making a broad generalization here) don’t care for us to participate in bachelor parties. The media has always portrayed our parties as drunken orgies involving hookers, drugs, and most likely the police. Sometimes they are right. Quite frankly, we are not always at our most attractive during or after a bachelor party. Most of our wives and girlfriends would appreciate the flowers and think they have the greatest guy in the world. Most of our friends probably have not taken home flowers for a while anyway. It will do the boys some good.
In conclusion we say be safe, get the groom to the church (or wherever the wedding is) on time, and make sure the groom and bride agree with your plans. We think if you do the things we’ve outlined in this article you’ll be well on your way to hosting a wonderful bachelor party.
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