Survey: Institution of marriage is healthy

Town & Country magazine released the results of a survey conducted last year about marriage. One of the major findings indicated that most of the respondents (75%) were still in their first and only marriage and that 99% expect to stay married to their current spouse.

Pamela Fiori, editor-in-chief of Town & Country, said of the results, "It is encouraging to know that many couples do enjoy long, happy unions. With Valentine's Day approaching and our February issue devoted to weddings, I feel it is a perfect time to celebrate the institution of marriage."

Key findings:

• Contrary to the "terrible in-laws" stereotype, 83% describe relationships with in-laws to be good or excellent.

• When asked whether they considered their spouse the only person they could ever have married, 58% answered yes. But knowing what they now know about their spouse, 89% would still marry him or her again.

• 25.2% have sex 2 - 3 times a week or more, 38.4% once a week.

• Although almost half of the respondents (49.4%) indicated sexual compatibility and satisfaction are very important in their marriage, financial stress causes the most problems in marriage (32.6%), followed by infidelity (27.9%).

• 63.8% kiss their spouse more than once a day, 25% once a day and 3.8% once a month or less.

• Does marriage get better over time? For 91% of the respondents the answer is yes! Responses include: "It deepens the partnership"; "You grow closer, respect each other, understand differences, feel comfortable together."

• Respondents were prepared to spend, or had spent, at least five times more on their children's weddings than was spent on their own.

• Honesty prevails. When asked about the most important qualities in a spouse, 100% of respondents considered honesty very/somewhat important. Intellectual compatibility and dependability tied for a close second. Other highly valued traits, all scoring above 75%, include: a good/similar sense of humor, willingness and ability to change, similar interests, financial stability, sexual compatibility, physical attractiveness, openness to new experiences/ideas and similar religious/spiritual values.

• Personality or looks? For 85.8%, the attraction was based on personality; 74.1% chose looks.

• George and Barbara Bush, or fairy-tale couples? When asked what couple they most identified with, 32.5% saw themselves as George and Barbara Bush; Harry and Sally were second with 25.4%, followed by Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty at 19%.

• How much time do couples spend together? On average, the respondents spent 16.8 hours of quality time per week with their spouses - and for 52%, that's perfect, although 46% would like more.

• 40.6% tell their spouse "I love you" more than once a day while 12.6% say it once a month or less. The survey was based on answers from Town & Country readers responding to an 8-page questionnaire randomly mailed by the magazine to 1000 subscribers in July 1999. Nine out of ten of those who wrote in were women. Their average age was 54.4; their spouses' average age was 56.3. Most of the respondents were college educated (76%), and nearly half were employed, either full-time (30%) or part-time (18%).