Delegate: Enlist Your Friends

On the day of your wedding, you will be too busy actually getting married to keep track of every detail or handle important tasks yourself. You need to delegate, and you should have plenty of people willing to help out.

Here are just a few assignments for your helpers:

Task	Delegate to
Hand out corsages or other flowers; help pinning boutonnieres.
Meet the caterer and answer his or her questions.
Check in with the photographer and give him or her the list of must-have photos.
Pass out checks to wedding vendors, musicians, vocalists and/or the wedding officiant.
Handle the guest book.
Have breakfast with you on the morning of your wedding and hold your hand if you're feeling pressured or stressed.
Watch for the special needs of elderly relatives or friends.
Spend time with the flower girl or ring bearer ahead of time so they have someone other than their own mother and the bride to come to with questions.
Help guests find their seats at a sit-down dinner.

Delegate: Don't be the Bride with Clipboard

Delegate. Delegate. Delegate. Remember that however involved you have been in the planning, when the day of your wedding dawns, you do not want to be the bride with the clipboard.

The busiest churches and temples often provide brides with someone they have hired and trained to handle logistics. Hotels have banquet managers who supervise food service and some of what happens in the rooms they are renting. Bandleaders and photographers are sometimes all-too-ready to run your event.

Use this chart to help you plan ahead and avoid last-minute headaches.

Task	Delegate to
Tell your florist ahead of time to look for someone specific -- other than you -- when she or he arrives with the wedding flowers. Have that person prepared to give out the bouquets and pin on corsages and boutonnieres.
Get the guest book, programs and list of readings to someone who can take charge.
Find out, again before the wedding day, whether someone should notify the officiant when everything is ready and the ceremony can start. Be aware that weddings seldom start exactly on time, although a few clergy members are sticklers for punctuality. Someone should be prepared for whatever occurs, while you insulate yourself from last-minute glitches such as a lost groomsman (in the bathroom), a misplaced bouquet (found in the last pew where the absent-minded bridesmaid put it) or a distraught flower girl (prepare a cool-headed attendant or the child's mother to help).
Make sure your consultant or someone with a take-charge personality manages that important hour before the ceremony. Officiants in secular surroundings seldom take charge in the same way as clergy on their home ground.
At the last minute, someone must be in charge of cuing everyone, lining everyone up, starting the music and the processional. And it cannot be the bride or bridegroom.
At the reception, the catering or banquet manager will handle many routine logistical tasks in the absence of a wedding consultant. He or she should be aware of when the musicians will arrive, when first guests are expected, and when you want hors d'oeuvre and beverage service to begin or bars to open. Will you be introduced or do you expect to set up a receiving line, or both?

Mapping Out Wedding Day Logistics

One or two weeks before the date, sit down and do a realistic schedule for the big day. You may give this to others, so include such obvious details as the wedding's and reception's specific starting times.

Begin in the morning, and follow events throughout the day. Think about the role of all service providers and write them into the schedule. Every vendor should be in the schedule, which is really a checklist to ensure that everyone knows exactly where and when to appear.

People to include in the schedule

• The officiant


• Attendants, ushers


• Photographer


• Musicians


• Soloist or choir conductor


• Caterer, catering manager, or banquet coordinator
  


• Decorator


• Table linens supplier


• Florist


• Wedding cake supplier (if other than the caterer)
  


• Other

Details to consider

1. Do your attendants and service providers have specific addresses and instructions about where to be and where to deliver goods?
   
   Churches, temples, hotels, catering halls -- even some restaurants -- can be massive buildings with many entrances. Be specific.


2. Is there someone for each of these vendors to check in with when they arrive?


3. Musicians and off-site caterers may need special directions about unloading and storing equipment.
   
   If your wedding ceremony or celebration is being held at an unusual site such as a home, public mansion or unfamiliar club, make sure to provide your vendors with this information. Let's say a specialty bakery will deliver a cake and pastries for a dessert buffet. Where and when can these goods be delivered? Do they need to be stored in a cooler until just before serving time?


4. Security may also be a consideration.
   Where, for example, can photographers safely stow their equipment when it's not in use?
   


5. Will photographers need special electrical outlets or equipment, such as extension cords?


6. Who will handle wedding gifts?
   
   What about checks and money?


7. If transportation is part of the logistics, think through the details of moving yourself, your family and guests.
   
   Don't forget arrivals and departures, if you're scheduling buses or vans to transport them.

Plan Ahead for Your Wedding Day

Plan ahead and know the answers to these questions before the big day.

Where will you get dressed?	Your plan...
What, exactly -- down to the last accessory -- will you wear? Don't forget comfy shoes and an extra pair of pantyhose.
What personal things will you need? Remember lipstick, comb and one index card with a very short list of important things not to forget. Ask a friend to carry a small bag during the ceremony. Your hands may be busy with flowers and rings, and your attendants may also have full hands.
How will you get to the church or temple?
Who will be with you?
Who sets up the receiving line? Where and when will it be, and who will be in it? You may want to ask a friend to bring your favorite beverage to the receiving line.
Will you be able to eat? To avoid missing your own hors d'oeuvres, ask the caterer to give samples to a friend or box them for later.
When and where will flowers be delivered? Remember, you may want them for photographs.

Wedding Day: Set The Right Tone

More than anything, make sure you approach the big day with the right attitude.
Remember, you are marrying the one you love and believe the day you have planned will reflect all that you feel.

The bride's mood sets the tone for the whole day. Here are some tips for starting out right:

• Make preliminary plans for the morning. Allow enough time to start things off so that you
  embrace the day with a sense of harmony and peace.

• Do you want to get up early enough to take a relaxing bath? Make sure there is extra time to do your hair and makeup, or get to your hair and makeup appointments.

• Allow time to eat something delicious. This may be your last chance to eat anything until much later.

• This special day should be filled with affection and feeling. If you have time, read a favorite
  love letter from your bridegroom before you get out of bed. You may want to send him something special to read, too.

• Once you are at your wedding, remember to stop, sit back, take a deep breath and give yourself time to look around.

• Remember what it's all about. The two of you. Your marriage. A life together. A milestone
  occasion.

• Remind yourself that this is not a grand opera with dozens of stagehands scurrying around
  backstage to make sure everything is perfect.

• Allow for serendipity and unavoidable last-minute changes. Pay no attention to guests'
  expectations. A food-service problem? Mention it to your mother or one friend, only if you think it can be changed. Don't allow details to become important.

• Develop a sense of privacy about the two of you. Look into each other's eyes. Make a private toast. Declare your love. Kiss.

• Thank your parents for their help and love. Run down a mental checklist of appreciative words you want to say to them and others. Include your new parents-in-law in your feelings of happiness.

• If you need time away from the crowd, make sure there's a private spot where you can disappear for a moment and gather your wits. You may need an island of privacy within this very public occasion. Don't apologize, just make sure it's there if you need it.

• Keep a healthy sense of perspective. Tragedy is death or illness, not the wrong shade of peach flowers. Remember that something is bound to go wrong. Laugh it off.
  

Wedding Day Basic Guidelines

How can you plan ahead so that you enjoy and cherish your big day? Ideas range from the practical (plan ahead, delegate), to the philosophical (relax, remember what really matters). Ready? Take a deep breath and check out our game plan to help you through the big day.

Here are seven basic guidelines to help you enjoy your wedding day.

1. Plan ahead. What actually occurs on your wedding day has everything to do with the planning that preceded it and the personalities of those involved. Do everything possible to avoid the pressure of handling details on your wedding day.

2. Create a schedule. Plot the day to the minute, if this reflects your attitude about details -- make it more relaxed if that's who you are.

3. Delegate. Leave your notebook at home. Give necessary details to someone you trust. Both brides and bridegrooms agree that they were not in any state of mind to handle logistics on their wedding day.

4. Trust your service providers. You hired individuals you like and respect. Let them do their work.

5. Do not listen to criticism. A friend who tells you she hates your flowers or music might merit reconsideration as a friend.

6. Do not, under any circumstances, watch your caterer or florist set up. This process is not for the faint-hearted.

7. Take a deep breath and relax. Look around and take mental photographs. Remind yourself what this is all about: Your choice of the man you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. Enjoy.

Wedding Packages vs. Pay-As-You-Go

No matter how you look at it, honeymoons have to be planned some time in advance. Depending on what your dream honeymoon is and how much time and energy you can spare to plan it, you can choose between all-inclusive packages and pay-as-you-go vacations that you design.

All-inclusive packages are one price, including all of the accommodations and events. You just need to decide what amount you are willing to pay.

Pay-as-you-go vacations need more detailed planning and a specific budget.


Packages

Most all-inclusive honeymoons are on cruises or at resorts. Resorts and cruises aren't cheap, but at least you know exactly how much you are going to spend.

Couples-only resorts offer wedding services that can be included in the overall cost. In addition to the "Love Boat" type of cruise, you can also find adventure cruises that generally have fewer people onboard -- often as few as nine to 20 passengers. These yachts are about the same price as luxury cruises but need to be booked six months to a year in advance.

What are your requirements for style and flexibility? Will you mind being confined to a ship with your itinerary set in stone? If not, a package deal might be for you.


Pay as you go

Planning your own honeymoon allows you more flexibility and can be cheaper than an all-inclusive package, but all of the responsibility rests on your shoulders. You need to consider where you want to go, what hotel and transportation reservations need to be made, how long you will stay in each place and what you are going to do while you are there.

You also need to decide how much you can spend on each of these variables, as well as how much money goes toward shopping and food expenses.

To start setting up your trip, call the tourist board in the countries you want to visit and request pamphlets on things to do and see there. Don't forget to request detailed maps, currency exchange rates, customs guidelines, and railway or bus schedules and rates.

Make hotel reservations well in advance and double-check them about a week before you leave. Find out what sort of transportation you will be using and where your country's embassy is in each destination, in case of emergency.

Whichever route you wish to take, careful planning and the right choices about what you want will help you have the time of your life!